Expectations and me…


Some one rightly said that expectations reduce joy. But can we do something selflessly without really expecting anything?!

I like to help people. If it’s something within my capacity I would help them. I make an effort and sometimes I even go out of my way to do things for my friends. I tell myself that I am not expecting anything ¬†and that I do this out of the goodness of my heart. But the truth is I am lying…!!

It’s really hard to do something without really expecting anything. Even if we make ourselves believe that we don’t expect anything, somewhere deep in our mind, in some corner, we expect at least a little acknowledgement and maybe a little gratitude and when that does not happen we are disappointed.

I set myself up for disappointment every time I go out of my way for others. I expect a lot and is left utterly disappointed and hurt when they fail to acknowledge it or my effort. I thought about this need or this desire and I realized that this stems from the need to be important. It feels good to know that I am important or appreciated and this need for importance and appreciation is in turn tied to expectation. I think human beings as a whole have this incessant need to be appreciated. It’s somehow tied to making us feel good about ourselves. There is an almost high in knowing that we are appreciated or that we are important. When faced with the situation where our importance is undermined we are angry, disappointed and hurt.

I realized that it’s hard to make myself immune to expectations and to selflessly help others. I am merely a person with flaws and it’s almost impossible for me to change one day. But I can definitely try. Today I make a conscious effort to leave my expectations somewhere in the dark inaccessible recess of my mind when I do something for someone. I am not saying that it’s easy but I am slowly getting better at not expecting anything…!!