This year is ending and what I have learnt so far…

It’s almost the end of November and this year will be over soon. Time seems to be flying. When I look back at this year I get mixed feelings.

This year has been in many ways trying. I found myself at that juncture where nothing seemed to make sense. I went through a lot of struggle mentally, to make peace with a lot of things happening in my life and it’s an on-going battle. There was this time when I was so discontent that I had this feeling of crawling out of my own skin. Then I slowly learnt to make peace with my circumstances. It’s definitely not an easy feat. I had to learn how to find the positives amidst everything that was going wrong and to hope when it was impossible to. This year in a way taught me that even when things are bleak I should never lose that small ray of hope and should hold onto it.

I made new friends and reconnected with estranged ones. Making new friends is indeed an amazing experience especially when they are the sort who fills you with positivity. I laughed a lot, I tried out new things and generally enjoyed the moments. Reconnecting with estranged friends is both bittersweet and joyful. At first there is this reflection as to what went wrong and how things turned so bad that it led to the friendship falling apart. Then there is the acknowledgement that both of us were wrong and forgiving each other and starting new. I think as we grow older our changed perspectives makes us more matured and helps us understand the other side better. It was amazing to reconnect and rebuild and it feels great.

I am thankful in so many ways for this year because even though the difficult times outweigh the good and happier times, I have a new appreciation for life. There are so many possibilities in front of me and so many things I want to accomplish that I am seeing ways to do all that. I am more courageous, open minded, brave, hopeful and patient than last year. I have learnt to accept that difficulties are part of life and that at the end of the storm there will be sunshine. I have grown closer to people who matter and know who values me. This year has brought about so many changes in me and I am happy and thankful.

I am looking forward to the newer experiences coming my way this year and exciting things in store for me next year. The biggest lesson I learnt is that nothing will work according to plans and sometimes its easier to just take one day at a time. So here’s to taking one day at a time and living life to the max…


Friendships, me and how it evolved…


What I have noticed about friendships is that they change as we grow older just the way we do. There is a drastic difference in how I maintain my friendships now as compared to when I was younger.

When I used to be in my teens, I used to the kind of person who would want to talk to my friends every single day and update them about every little detail of my life. If I couldn’t speak to them for a day I used to be disturbed. The cause of this deep intensity or need could be that friends were all I had while growing up. Being an only child friends filled the absence of siblings. Another reason was the irrational fear that they might find someone better and stop being my friend. This fear and the need waged a war that made me uncompromising and insecure.

When I grew older I noticed that this need slowly dissipated. I think the change in me came with the growing need for my own space. The thing is I never acknowledged the need for space in friendships. Every person is entitled to it, be it any relationship! I was oblivious to it’s necessity. I sometimes failed to acknowledge that my friends are free to form other friendships and it’s not a betrayal of my bond with them. The thought or concept, of my friends having other friends who could be as close as I were to them, was so alien that I used to detest it.

I slowly stopped informing them every single detail. This was almost a conscious decision and something that felt right. I also stopped being insecure if they failed to tell me something. I learnt to accept that my friends will have other friends but that has no bearing on my relation with them. I also learnt to listen more and to be more open and to respect their choices. I slowly gave my friends the space they need and took mine.

I think this process was a necessary part of growing up. As a result something that used to take a lot of effort became almost effortless. I used to wonder where I was going wrong without really finding any solution. But when I finally opened my eyes to what was right in front of me everything became easier.

Today, just the way I have changed, my friendships too have. I am more secure and more respectful. I listen more and make sure that my insecurities will not affect my relationships. I understood that, it doesn’t matter how often I talk to them, meet them or how much I know about them; all that matters is how close to my heart they are…!!